Often the walls used for protection are the same walls that hinder the development of intimacy. You may genuinely want to find a loving relationship, but your fear gets in the way. This trouble occurs if your fear leads you to date with your guard up. This is why learning to be vulnerable despite your fears, insecurities and natural imperfections is one of the most important aspects of skilled dating.
Here are 4 ways to increase vulnerability:
Taking the risk to let people in is the recipe for a true romantic partnership and love, so breaking through your walls is a must. You can learn a lot by being vulnerable and witnessing other’s responses. If you are not met with openness and acceptance by your date.
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Recognize the purpose of being vulnerable
Vulnerability is the means to really get each other, build a genuine bond and hopefully fall in love or determine you aren’t a good fit. If you don’t share about yourself.
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Change your perception of vulnerability
Unfortunately, our culture sometimes mistakes vulnerability for weakness.
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Understand vulnerability may look and feel different at different stages of dating
For example, healthy sharing and vulnerability on a first date looks and feels vastly different from healthy sharing and vulnerability on a sixth date because it takes time to build trust.
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Take baby steps toward being open and sharing more about yourself
This is natural, so go easy on yourself as you try new ways of thinking and behaving.
Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) and dating/relationship coach, who provides counseling and coaching services at her private practice in Bethesda, Maryland and by phone.